Ugh I'm so tired! I was at first aid last night like out on duty so that was standing for 4 hours straight, I didn't have any casualties though woooo! I was up early this morning for a driving lesson, had such a good one today and I booked my test tonight for September, I can't wait to drive but soooo nervous about the test! 6 weeks today so hopefully I'll try calm my nerves a bit! And then I've been laying out in the sun with friends, not very often we get good weather in Scotland! Been trying to top up my tan from holiday!
Holiday holiday holiday! Take me back please! I only came back four weeks ago and already I've been hoping to go back in August but I've got uni in September and all the nights out and parties, just wouldn't work :(
Can't wait to move to the Dominican Republic when I'm older! I've been like 3 times before and I just absolutely love it! I'm even teaching myself Spanish which I'm pretty proud of tbh!
Think I'm gonna head to bed and get some sleep, need to tidy my room tomorrow, such a mess! :(
Trying to avoid the whole subject of food right now, it ain't good! Seen something about the Mary-Kate Olsen game on a blog though, might give it a try, seems pretty good to keep myself on track! Might post my scores up, keep track of how I'm getting on. I ain't giving up, that's for sure! :)
Wednesday, 27 July 2011
Monday, 25 July 2011
I'm so sick of trying.
So yeah I'm completely new to this scene and I'm not sure if what I've done is the right thing, it seems like it right now and I shall stick by my decision.
I'm just a normal girl, well no I'm not a normal girl, I know how my brain thinks isn't normal, it can't be. Everything revolves around my weight, I have no confidence because of my weight, I do not believe in myself because of my weight, I don't want to join new things etc because of my fucking weight. It completely rules me. For so long I've had all the thoughts imaginable running through my head and I just wish I had the determination and self-belief that I can sort this, that I can do this, I can become skinny, I can have a nice body, but it won't ever change!
I'm 17 and going to university in September, I just want to be happy in myself. I know a lot of you girls out there are experienced and know your stuff and I look up to you all as complete inspirations to me. I'm asking for help, for you to guide me and accept me, to help me along my journey. I want to do it, I want to be like you.
I'm just a normal girl, well no I'm not a normal girl, I know how my brain thinks isn't normal, it can't be. Everything revolves around my weight, I have no confidence because of my weight, I do not believe in myself because of my weight, I don't want to join new things etc because of my fucking weight. It completely rules me. For so long I've had all the thoughts imaginable running through my head and I just wish I had the determination and self-belief that I can sort this, that I can do this, I can become skinny, I can have a nice body, but it won't ever change!
I'm 17 and going to university in September, I just want to be happy in myself. I know a lot of you girls out there are experienced and know your stuff and I look up to you all as complete inspirations to me. I'm asking for help, for you to guide me and accept me, to help me along my journey. I want to do it, I want to be like you.
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